Its ok

I sorted things out again with Liam, just turned out he was generally frustrated that day, so yeh, things are back on track, He`s a total babe lol, I`ve been phoning him alot again recently, i feel like i`m starting to bug him.... I mean he used to phone me all the time and i didn`t get annoyed so hopefully hes not

Peace
Beth
xx

Is it me?

Recently i feel like alot of people have been turning against me.... Some people i can understand why for example Will, i broke up with him, but i thought we were still friends, it would be nice if he would still talk to me though.. Will was such an amazing friend, I shouldn`t of gone out with him.. Its ruined everything including my friendship with Liam, I know i said i wouldn`t talk about him anymore but i can`t help it, Yes that makes me sound obsessed with him, but i honestly have never felt like this towards some one before, I thought we had it all sorted out from yesterday, but now things have gone bad again, I just can`t stop thinking about him, I just love him so much, if i could i would just hold him tight and not let go of him, that sounds incredibly cheesey but i honestly would...... He`s just so lovely and makes me feel amazing, for once i feel i could really get somewhere, but now for like the 30.000006478926789 th time in my life its all messed up. I just need a hug right now, not just any hug though... It`ll have to be something speacial :/

Peace
Beth
xx

Back to the start

Its all over.....

Liams just told me he doesn`t like me anymore, he said, he wouldn`t even care if he never met me again, thats whats really hurt me, i`ve gone through soo much just so that i could be with him. I respect his feelings and all and he`s been as nice as possible... Its just, I dunno, i really thought we had something

Oh well.. Life goes on, this Has happened too many times in my life for me to care anymore...

So we`re back at the beggining, Just two different people in two different worlds..... I`m just a nothing and so is he, Guess this is my last blog about Liam.....

Peace
Beth
xx

I`m back :)

I just got back from Hampshire camp, i`m back for good now, well, for a while anyway, only 1 more week of summer holidays left, dang it these ones went soo fast :/

Gahh, i finally broke up with Will, its ok though coz we`re still friends, he doesn`t actually care that i broke up with him, which i suppose in a way is good but it just shows he didn`t really love me that much in the first place....

I actually really like Liam, every time i speak to him it just increases, literally like everytime.... the only thing is, i really want to tell him to his face how i feel yano, but unlike him i get really embarrassed about things like this, I can`t wait to see him again, its been so long :/ I wonder if he feels the same way about me still....

Peace
Beth
xx

Charlotte ma homey ;)

Well, earlier on today, Charlotte was moaning because i havn`t mentioned her in my blog atall so far, well i probably have a while back but not recently, so to make her happy, i said i`d dedicate a blog to her, so here it is ;)

Charlotte you babe, you are my best friend and i love you to peices, never forget that, I love the fact your always round my house, but PLEASE learn to get your own drink, everyone else does, yeah ;)

So anyway, Charlotte is an amazing person, i have too many things to say about her but i`m afraid i`m gunna have to make this only a short blog.....

I love you girl

Peace
Beth xx

And it all started with Free Hugs......

Just got back from Soul Survivor and as promised i am writing you a blog :) Whilst away me and Lianne made soo many new friends, all because of free hugs.. they are all actually amazing, one evening me and lianne were out free hugging and saw some other free huggers so we like joined together, then more and more people joined in and we were blocking up the whole road, it was soo funny, If people didn`t hug us we`d actually chase after them :) I`m gunna name all the amazing people we met and i`m gunna write a little about them :) here we goo.....

James/Cinnamon - James reminds me of a friend called herbie, can be very quiet, but when in the right environment is soo lovely and funny, he had cool hats and an overall amazing guy :)

Matt/Caramel - Well this is one hyper boy, me and lianne invited him back to our party tent along with James, he was was actually SOO hyper, i can`t even explain, one time he found a melon in our party tent and shouted MELON and lobbed it at James, who luckily caught it...

Jason/Chocolate face - Jason gave great hugs, he seemed to really like lianne and named her vanilla face, bless.. I didn`t speak to him a great deal but he seemed cool, etc etc

Sorcha - This girl was immense, she had an amazing Free Hugs t-shirt which i was tempted to steal :) i`m running outta things to say really, she goes out with a nice guy called rubeun, he was alaso immense and bought me and lianne a good bye smoothie <3

Michael/Mars Bar - Michael, well, whatta babe, He speaks like a black person but is white, yano what i`m saying man. He was very horney like all the time but soo lovely, oh and he was such a pimp, moving from one to another... oh well, it was entertaining :P

Ricky/Creepy Kid - Well, this kid kept stalking us and told me he fancied me, which was slightly creepy, hense we named him creepy kid, when i said good bye to everyone, he hugged me so tight and was like, I LOVE YOU and i was just like, ermm.. bye? it was just soo funny

There are lots more people but i reckon these are the main people, so i`l just name the last few

Nottingham Guy
Wouldn`t let go guy
Gary
Hal
Mini Mars Bar
Katie
Will
German Guy

You guys are just amazing people and i can`t wait to see you next year
LOVE YOU <3
Peace
Beth xx

Apologies

I`m sorry liam for my previous post, i was just really annoyed.. btw if anyone else is reading this, i phoned him and things are good :) ermm.. so yeah, this is all i`m gunna really write about in this blog, but i have loads to come because i have just got back from Soul Survivor :D soo er yeah, lots of blogs coming your way
Peace
Beth xx

Why is my life such a muck up :/

OMG Liam.... i`m so annoyed right now, i`m on the soul survivor cafe computer thing because i actually just have to let out my anger by blog.. that sounds soo cheesey but it really does help.... Liam if your reading this, this blog is gunna be all about you :) HAPPY READING... so yeah, i finally decided i was gunna dump will, he hasn`t answered his phone yet, so i havn`t had the chance, i`ve tried like 10 times now.. JUST ANSWER YOUR PHONE. anyhoo, i phoned liam earlier today but his phone went dodgey, so i phoned his home phone instead and his mum answered, she seems really nice :) well.. she told me to try his mobile again, which i did, but when he answered, he was like, GO AWAY, DON`T EVER PHONE MY HOME AGAIN OR MY MOBILE, JUST GO AWAY, BYE !! and i thought he was joking at first, so i rang him again and he just went, GO AWAY, BYE.... i really don`t know whats happened to him, hes obviously wasted his time trying to make me like him, because now he`s just annoyed me so much. URGHH seriously though, i thought he really liked me as you can probably tell from the rest of this blog... Anyway, i only have like 5 mins left so i`d better go.. hmm.. this man has just read my blog whos next to me, and he said, aww poor liam and will WHAT ABOUT ME, lol
Peace
Bethxx

Sooo much stuff....

I`m off to summer set tomorrow with Lianne and Craig and all the other youth group guys, we`re going to soul survivor, its a really funny camp (for me and Lianne) for Christians.. GOD SQUAD ;) anyway, I `ve just finished packing, i have SOO MUCH STUFF its actually ridiculous, 2 suitcases, 1 pillow, 1 chair, 1 handbag and 3 carrier bags woah, i really do have loads.. oh well :)

Since i`m away for 2 weeks i won`t be able to blog, unless Lianne takes her laptop :P.. well i`m back for the Saturday in between so maybe i`ll try and blog then, or sunday morning hmm.. i dunno

I texted will last night asking him how much he loved me and stuff... he hasn`t text back yet.. either thats a bad sign or he just hasn`t looked at his phone :/ apparently liam can`t wait to go out with me, but i`m still not 100% sure on what to do, WHY ARE THINGS SO COMPLICATED urghh.... hopefully i get a text back soon
Anyway, better dash
Peace
Beth xx

Guilt trip :)

Right well..... Liam didn`t come out today :( He did tell me last night, so atleast i wasn`t expecting him today :) Well.. when he told me i thought i`d send him on the guilt trip :P, funny for me, maybe not so funny for him, ow well.. he`ll forgive me HOPEFULLY :/

He`s gone round his friends house instead, i won`t get to see him till the last week of term.. I have to everyone in the last week. mehh.... oh well, it`ll give ,me somthing today
OMG this is my SECOND blog today, i`m getting better at this woo.. i think i deserve a party
Anyway, i`ll only make this a short blog

Peace
Beth xx

Should i give up....

I`ve been speaking to Liam nearly every night this week.... Every time i speak to him it makes me wonder more and more whether i made the right decision going out with will, i mean, i know that liam loves me, and i feel it to, but with will, i`m not sure if he loves me and i don`t always feel it, Sometimes, liam makes it sound like a competition and i`m the big prize, i`m really not and its horrible to feel like that. I really wanna ask will esacly how he feels towards me but i can`t pluck up the courage :/ Another ting.. I`m thinking so much about who loves me more, that i`m not thinking about who i love more, urghh, i`m really starting to sound like a whore, i`m not, i promise you, its just, i honestly don`t know who i love more, liam just wants a straight answer, but i don`t have one, in a way, i like liam more emotionally- i like talking to him and letting all my feeling out, i really really like it, but i like will more physically - i love how we hold hands and how i feel when i`m actually with him. Urghh... I might just give up on love all together, its too complicated and i hate it. Its been ages since i`ve felt this way about someone, and suddenly 2 people come along at the same time. I feel so stupid right now.. i`m such a plebtard :'( tbh i don`t really know what else to say apart from, i wonder if will would ever phone me at 3 o clock in the morning, just to hear my voice, i know liam would, and he does, its all soo sweet, gahh there i go again, i really should just never speak again, infact i might just dissapear one day, no one would notice....
Well here i go
Peace
Beth xx

Good times :)

Today i went to southsea common, At first it was all a bit quiet. We were just kinda sat there because there wasn`t many of us and it was pretty cold :P Anyway, we all just kinda sat there and chatted, took a picture of a chinese women and stroked a dog which could easily be mistaken for a small sheep :) After a while we thought we`d walk along to the fair, soo anyway, we went in the arcades and stuff.. lainne and connor played this dinosaur game, they were soo rubbish, it was game over in literally 5 seconds..... After we`d been just about everywhere and some people had eaten some chips, we went to the beach, i got attaked my will and craig, they attacked me with rocks, they were massive, ok well maybe not massive but they were fairely bigish i suppose, lol.. anyway, before this happened lianne and connor decided to have a little swim, but lianne had no swimming stuff so she borrowed connors SPARE boxers.. there she was in a bra and connors boxers, off they went into the sea.. they drifted like loads so when they thought they`d get out, they had to run all the way along the beach. It was hilarious, So anyway, after, lucy, connor and lianne were off in they`re own little world of towel, so i was speaking to will whilst craig was asleep lol... I think he does still love me yano, i was a bit unsure, but now i think he does..... those few moments were soo nice, just head on his lap, and it was comfy, The only down side was that he made me deep throat this stick thing, i don`t recommend it lol. Anyway, not much more happend than that, WOW i just realised this is like my 2nd blog in a row, first time ever i think, what an achievement :)
Meeting up with liam tomorrow, fingers crossed, EXTRA LONG HUG COMING MY WAY, get in there, can`t wait to see him again, naww i love him Anyway, i`m gunna go eat some food...
Peace
Beth xx

All too confusing....

Today i had a fairly boring day :/ All i did was pretend to bump into lianne down town (long story) and follow her and her boyfriend all over the place with super hyper craig.. he really frustrates me, we walked everywhere and every 10 seconds lianne and josh would just snog in front of you, it was really awquard. you`d be talking to them, you`d blink and they`d be gettin off...... GET A ROOM, i was meant to meet up with my fabulous best friend liam, but his mum gave him 20 pound to go see toy story 3 with his mate, tbh i don`t blame him, i would have done the same thing :) i got to see liam today though, which was nice, havn`t seen him in ages. I actually got a hug from him, it was nice, he said he would have gone on for longer but because i go out with will he thought it was weird, i didn`t, its only a hug, i really did k=need one though, these past few days have been so complicated. I`m starting to wonder sometimes if will still loves me, it seems to me that he prefers lianne... but i really do love him, my mind is just soo messed up, like a fan blowing a massive stack of papers around a cramped office...... When i was talking to liam other night, it really made made me think about my feelings and it confused me, so now i got to try and sort out this little mess of mine :/

Peace
Beth xx

I done it again ¬_¬

I know i`m always saying about how i hardly ever write blogs and every time i write them posts i always make a promise to myself that i`ll be a better blogger, that never keeps on does it :/ so this time i`m not gunna bother making that promise and instead i`m just gunna make more detailed posts, not so often (basically when i remember) lol, so yeh, my life recently has been going great. i finished year 9, going into year 10, i made so many new friends, like people i hardly ever talked to, i think its great, i now have a boyfriend, hes amazing and just lovely. I wish i could see him everyday, hes just so nice and gives amazing hugs :) i now also have the most fabulous friend ever, called liam, whatta babe. Last night i was on the phone to him for like 3 hours and i still didn`t get bored, i only had to say bye coz my phone ran outta power ¬¬. so yeah, liam, liam, liam. He was drunk last night so he thought he`d phone me, how nice. i`m pretty sure he let out WAYY more info that if he was sober, but it was soo nice, it was really nice to have a heart to heart conversation and find out how he was truly feeling, some of the things he said, made me feel like such a bitch, seriously, i`ve never felt quite so mean in my life, at one point, i was actually crying, i really don`t know why, i`m such an idiot, seriously though. it felt so lush just laying there in darkness listening to his voice, its so therapeutic, well anyway i ow him a gigantic hug and we made a promise, but its kind of a secret aswell, so i think i`d better not announce it to the world :) This summer holiday, i have realised that i have such amazing friends, so amazing infact i can`t even put it to words how much i adore you all, when i found out everyone was missing me, it really made me feel loved. i really wish there was a way to say thankyou to all you fabulous people, i really do love you and PROMISE me, you will never change, no matter how much things change around you, i love you all for who you are and only you can make yourself who you are. <3>Right time to tune out

Peace

Beth xx